Loved First
10/02/2026
There are times when our relationship with God can quietly start to feel like a performance. We know the right things to do—pray more, read Scripture, serve, give, forgive, be patient—and before long, we can begin measuring our relationship with God by how well we’re doing those things. Then John gives us nine simple words that completely change the order.
“We love because he first loved us.”
- 1 John 4:19 ESV
Notice which love comes first.
Not ours.
God’s.
That may seem like a small distinction, but it changes everything about how we understand the Christian life. Christianity doesn’t begin with us trying harder to love God. It begins with realizing how completely God has already loved us.
And John isn’t talking about some vague idea of love. The surrounding verses make that clear. Just a few verses earlier he writes:
“In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”
1 John 4:10 ESV
That’s where love starts—the cross.
God didn’t wait until we cleaned ourselves up. He didn’t wait until our theology was right, our habits were better, our marriage was stronger, our temper was under control, or our prayer life became consistent.
He loved first.
Think about how different that is from the way many relationships operate. We naturally respond to people according to how they treat us. Be kind to me, and I’ll probably be kind to you. Respect me, and I’ll respect you. Hurt me, and suddenly loving you becomes much more difficult.
That’s conditional love.
But God moved toward us before we ever moved toward Him.
Paul says it another way in Romans 5:8: Christ died for us “while we were still sinners.” God didn’t look into the future, see how good we would eventually become, and decide we were worth loving. His love came while we were still far from Him.
That means I don’t have to spend today trying to convince God to love me.
And neither do you.
Some of us need to hear that because we’re carrying around a spiritual scorecard.
Had a good week? God must be pleased with me.
Had a bad week? Maybe He’s disappointed in me.
Read my Bible every morning? I’m doing pretty well.
Lost my temper, made a mistake, fell back into something I thought I’d overcome? Now I feel like hiding from Him.
But God’s love isn’t a paycheck for good behavior.
It’s the starting point.
And when we really understand that, something begins to change in us. God’s love doesn’t give us permission to remain unchanged; His love becomes the reason we want to change.
We forgive because we’ve been forgiven.
We show grace because we’ve received grace.
We become generous because God has been generous toward us.
We love difficult people because we remember that God’s love reached us when we weren’t particularly lovable either.
That’s especially important because the very next verse takes this somewhere uncomfortable. John says that if we claim to love God while hating our brother, something doesn’t add up.
In other words, God’s love isn’t supposed to stop with us.
We’re supposed to become a conduit, not a container.
I think sometimes we pray, “God, help me love that person,” when what we really mean is, “God, please make that person easier to love.”
But He doesn’t always do that.
Sometimes the difficult person stays difficult.
Sometimes the apology doesn’t come.
Sometimes they still irritate you.
Sometimes you still disagree.
And God says, Now take the love I have given you and let it show up there.
That’s when 1 John 4:19 becomes more than a nice verse.
I don’t have to manufacture love from an empty heart. I love from a heart that has already been loved by God.
Maybe today you’re struggling to love someone.
Start one step earlier.
Don’t begin with them.
Begin with Him.
Remember the patience God has shown you. Remember the grace He’s extended to you. Remember the things He’s forgiven. Remember the cross.
Then ask Him to let some of that love spill over into the way you treat the person in front of you.
Because we aren’t the source of this kind of love.
We’re simply passing along what we received first.
Action Steps
* Receive before you respond. Spend a few quiet minutes thanking God specifically for ways He has loved, forgiven, and carried you.
* Identify where His love needs to travel. Think of one person you’ve found difficult to love lately. Ask God to show you one practical way to demonstrate love toward them.
* Stop keeping score with God. When you catch yourself measuring God’s love by your performance, come back to 1 John 4:19: He loved first.
Challenge for the Day
Show love today to someone who hasn’t earned it, and while you do, remember: neither did you. That’s what makes grace so beautiful.
Prayer
Father, thank You for loving me first. Thank You that Your love isn’t something I have to earn or deserve. Help me receive that love deeply enough that it changes the way I treat people—especially the ones who are difficult for me to love. Let Your love flow through me today instead of stopping with me. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Pastor Jeff
#LoveGod #LovePeople #FindFreedom #FindYourDesign
There are times when our relationship with God can quietly start to feel like a performance. We know the right things to do—pray more, read Scripture, serve, give, forgive, be patient—and before long, we can begin measuring our relationship with God by how well we’re doing those things. Then John gives us nine simple words that completely change the order.
“We love because he first loved us.”
- 1 John 4:19 ESV
Notice which love comes first.
Not ours.
God’s.
That may seem like a small distinction, but it changes everything about how we understand the Christian life. Christianity doesn’t begin with us trying harder to love God. It begins with realizing how completely God has already loved us.
And John isn’t talking about some vague idea of love. The surrounding verses make that clear. Just a few verses earlier he writes:
“In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”
1 John 4:10 ESV
That’s where love starts—the cross.
God didn’t wait until we cleaned ourselves up. He didn’t wait until our theology was right, our habits were better, our marriage was stronger, our temper was under control, or our prayer life became consistent.
He loved first.
Think about how different that is from the way many relationships operate. We naturally respond to people according to how they treat us. Be kind to me, and I’ll probably be kind to you. Respect me, and I’ll respect you. Hurt me, and suddenly loving you becomes much more difficult.
That’s conditional love.
But God moved toward us before we ever moved toward Him.
Paul says it another way in Romans 5:8: Christ died for us “while we were still sinners.” God didn’t look into the future, see how good we would eventually become, and decide we were worth loving. His love came while we were still far from Him.
That means I don’t have to spend today trying to convince God to love me.
And neither do you.
Some of us need to hear that because we’re carrying around a spiritual scorecard.
Had a good week? God must be pleased with me.
Had a bad week? Maybe He’s disappointed in me.
Read my Bible every morning? I’m doing pretty well.
Lost my temper, made a mistake, fell back into something I thought I’d overcome? Now I feel like hiding from Him.
But God’s love isn’t a paycheck for good behavior.
It’s the starting point.
And when we really understand that, something begins to change in us. God’s love doesn’t give us permission to remain unchanged; His love becomes the reason we want to change.
We forgive because we’ve been forgiven.
We show grace because we’ve received grace.
We become generous because God has been generous toward us.
We love difficult people because we remember that God’s love reached us when we weren’t particularly lovable either.
That’s especially important because the very next verse takes this somewhere uncomfortable. John says that if we claim to love God while hating our brother, something doesn’t add up.
In other words, God’s love isn’t supposed to stop with us.
We’re supposed to become a conduit, not a container.
I think sometimes we pray, “God, help me love that person,” when what we really mean is, “God, please make that person easier to love.”
But He doesn’t always do that.
Sometimes the difficult person stays difficult.
Sometimes the apology doesn’t come.
Sometimes they still irritate you.
Sometimes you still disagree.
And God says, Now take the love I have given you and let it show up there.
That’s when 1 John 4:19 becomes more than a nice verse.
I don’t have to manufacture love from an empty heart. I love from a heart that has already been loved by God.
Maybe today you’re struggling to love someone.
Start one step earlier.
Don’t begin with them.
Begin with Him.
Remember the patience God has shown you. Remember the grace He’s extended to you. Remember the things He’s forgiven. Remember the cross.
Then ask Him to let some of that love spill over into the way you treat the person in front of you.
Because we aren’t the source of this kind of love.
We’re simply passing along what we received first.
Action Steps
* Receive before you respond. Spend a few quiet minutes thanking God specifically for ways He has loved, forgiven, and carried you.
* Identify where His love needs to travel. Think of one person you’ve found difficult to love lately. Ask God to show you one practical way to demonstrate love toward them.
* Stop keeping score with God. When you catch yourself measuring God’s love by your performance, come back to 1 John 4:19: He loved first.
Challenge for the Day
Show love today to someone who hasn’t earned it, and while you do, remember: neither did you. That’s what makes grace so beautiful.
Prayer
Father, thank You for loving me first. Thank You that Your love isn’t something I have to earn or deserve. Help me receive that love deeply enough that it changes the way I treat people—especially the ones who are difficult for me to love. Let Your love flow through me today instead of stopping with me. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Pastor Jeff
#LoveGod #LovePeople #FindFreedom #FindYourDesign
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