When Love Gets Difficult
08/13/2026
There are some verses that sound beautiful until we realize Jesus actually expects us to live them. Matthew 5:44 is one of those. Loving people who love us back is fairly easy. Jesus takes us somewhere much deeper. He tells us what to do with the person who has wounded us, opposed us, talked about us, or made life harder.
“But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
Matthew 5:44 — ESV
Jesus doesn’t say, “Understand your enemies.” He doesn’t say, “Agree with them.” He doesn’t even say we have to trust them again.
He says love them and pray for them.
And that can be hard.
Because when somebody hurts us, our natural response is usually self-protection. We pull away. We replay the conversation. We imagine what we should have said. Sometimes we secretly hope they get a little taste of what they gave us.
Then Jesus says, “Pray for them.”
Not pray about them.
Not, “Lord, show them how wrong they are.”
Not, “God, straighten them out.”
Pray for them.
That changes something. Maybe not in them immediately, but certainly in us.
The surrounding verses make what Jesus is saying even stronger. He tells us that God “makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust” (Matthew 5:45). Then He asks a pretty uncomfortable question: if we only love the people who love us, what makes that different from anybody else?
Anybody can return kindness.
Jesus is teaching us to return grace.
And we need to be clear about something. Loving an enemy does not mean pretending what happened was okay. Forgiveness doesn’t erase wisdom. There are people you can forgive and still need boundaries with. There are relationships that should not return to what they once were. You can love someone without giving them unlimited access to your life.
But here’s where Jesus won’t let us off the hook: we cannot use boundaries as permission for bitterness.
We can create distance and still carry resentment.
We can stop answering the phone and still have conversations with that person in our head every day.
We can say, “I’ve forgiven them,” while secretly enjoying hearing that things aren’t going well for them.
Jesus wants something better for us than that.
He tells us to pray because it’s difficult to continually bring someone before God and keep feeding hatred toward them at the same time. Prayer begins loosening the grip that person and that hurt have on our heart.
And maybe that’s part of what Jesus is after.
Your enemy has already taken enough from you. Don’t give them your peace too.
Think about Jesus Himself. On the cross, while people mocked Him, beat Him, rejected Him, and crucified Him, Jesus prayed:
“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
— Luke 23:34, ESV
Jesus didn’t simply teach enemy-love.
He demonstrated it.
And if we’re going to follow Jesus, eventually our faith has to show up in how we treat difficult people.
Sometimes we think spiritual maturity is knowing more Scripture, praying longer prayers, or understanding deeper theology. Those things matter. But one of the clearest measurements of spiritual maturity may be how much we are beginning to look like Jesus when someone gives us every reason not to.
That’s where this gets personal.
There may be somebody whose name immediately came to mind while you were reading this.
You don’t have to manufacture warm feelings toward them today. Jesus didn’t command a feeling. Start with obedience.
Pray for them.
Ask God to work in their life. Ask Him to bless what can be blessed. Ask Him to bring healing where they’re wounded, conviction where they’re wrong, and salvation if they don’t know Christ.
And while you’re praying for them, give God permission to work on your heart too.
Because sometimes the miracle isn’t that God changes our enemy.
Sometimes the miracle is that our enemy no longer controls what’s happening inside of us.
Action Steps
* Identify the person you have the hardest time loving right now. Be honest with God about why.
* Pray specifically for that person today—not for God to “get them,” but for God to work in their life.
* Examine your heart. If you need a boundary, establish one wisely. If you’re holding bitterness, begin surrendering it to God.
Challenge for the Day
Pray by name today for someone who has hurt you. Ask God to do something good in their life—and ask Him to remove anything from your heart that keeps you from loving them like Jesus does.
Prayer
Father, You know the people who have hurt me, and You know the places where I’m still carrying some of that hurt. Teach me to love the way Jesus loves. Give me wisdom where boundaries are needed, grace where forgiveness is difficult, and a heart that refuses to be controlled by bitterness. Today I choose to pray for those who have hurt me. Work in their lives, Lord, and while You’re doing that, keep working in mine. Make me more like Jesus. Amen.
Pastor Jeff
#LoveGod #LovePeople #FindFreedom #FindYourDesign
There are some verses that sound beautiful until we realize Jesus actually expects us to live them. Matthew 5:44 is one of those. Loving people who love us back is fairly easy. Jesus takes us somewhere much deeper. He tells us what to do with the person who has wounded us, opposed us, talked about us, or made life harder.
“But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
Matthew 5:44 — ESV
Jesus doesn’t say, “Understand your enemies.” He doesn’t say, “Agree with them.” He doesn’t even say we have to trust them again.
He says love them and pray for them.
And that can be hard.
Because when somebody hurts us, our natural response is usually self-protection. We pull away. We replay the conversation. We imagine what we should have said. Sometimes we secretly hope they get a little taste of what they gave us.
Then Jesus says, “Pray for them.”
Not pray about them.
Not, “Lord, show them how wrong they are.”
Not, “God, straighten them out.”
Pray for them.
That changes something. Maybe not in them immediately, but certainly in us.
The surrounding verses make what Jesus is saying even stronger. He tells us that God “makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust” (Matthew 5:45). Then He asks a pretty uncomfortable question: if we only love the people who love us, what makes that different from anybody else?
Anybody can return kindness.
Jesus is teaching us to return grace.
And we need to be clear about something. Loving an enemy does not mean pretending what happened was okay. Forgiveness doesn’t erase wisdom. There are people you can forgive and still need boundaries with. There are relationships that should not return to what they once were. You can love someone without giving them unlimited access to your life.
But here’s where Jesus won’t let us off the hook: we cannot use boundaries as permission for bitterness.
We can create distance and still carry resentment.
We can stop answering the phone and still have conversations with that person in our head every day.
We can say, “I’ve forgiven them,” while secretly enjoying hearing that things aren’t going well for them.
Jesus wants something better for us than that.
He tells us to pray because it’s difficult to continually bring someone before God and keep feeding hatred toward them at the same time. Prayer begins loosening the grip that person and that hurt have on our heart.
And maybe that’s part of what Jesus is after.
Your enemy has already taken enough from you. Don’t give them your peace too.
Think about Jesus Himself. On the cross, while people mocked Him, beat Him, rejected Him, and crucified Him, Jesus prayed:
“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
— Luke 23:34, ESV
Jesus didn’t simply teach enemy-love.
He demonstrated it.
And if we’re going to follow Jesus, eventually our faith has to show up in how we treat difficult people.
Sometimes we think spiritual maturity is knowing more Scripture, praying longer prayers, or understanding deeper theology. Those things matter. But one of the clearest measurements of spiritual maturity may be how much we are beginning to look like Jesus when someone gives us every reason not to.
That’s where this gets personal.
There may be somebody whose name immediately came to mind while you were reading this.
You don’t have to manufacture warm feelings toward them today. Jesus didn’t command a feeling. Start with obedience.
Pray for them.
Ask God to work in their life. Ask Him to bless what can be blessed. Ask Him to bring healing where they’re wounded, conviction where they’re wrong, and salvation if they don’t know Christ.
And while you’re praying for them, give God permission to work on your heart too.
Because sometimes the miracle isn’t that God changes our enemy.
Sometimes the miracle is that our enemy no longer controls what’s happening inside of us.
Action Steps
* Identify the person you have the hardest time loving right now. Be honest with God about why.
* Pray specifically for that person today—not for God to “get them,” but for God to work in their life.
* Examine your heart. If you need a boundary, establish one wisely. If you’re holding bitterness, begin surrendering it to God.
Challenge for the Day
Pray by name today for someone who has hurt you. Ask God to do something good in their life—and ask Him to remove anything from your heart that keeps you from loving them like Jesus does.
Prayer
Father, You know the people who have hurt me, and You know the places where I’m still carrying some of that hurt. Teach me to love the way Jesus loves. Give me wisdom where boundaries are needed, grace where forgiveness is difficult, and a heart that refuses to be controlled by bitterness. Today I choose to pray for those who have hurt me. Work in their lives, Lord, and while You’re doing that, keep working in mine. Make me more like Jesus. Amen.
Pastor Jeff
#LoveGod #LovePeople #FindFreedom #FindYourDesign
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